A Little Help Please?! Crap-Master Crap McCrapenstein

What the hell should I do with my life - because I tell you - what I'm doing now just ain't gonna cut it for much longer! Spring always gets me down. I'm pretty confidant that I'm not a big fan of Spring... a time of rebirth - my ass! It's a time to realize all the things that you could have gotten done last year, but didn't. Can I blame my parents for any of this crap that I'm feeling? Probably not, but let me try... Damn you Mom and Dad for not forcing me into organized sports or music lessons. Damn you for allowing me to have a fun and carefree childhood. Well, crap - that didn't work! Unfortunately I have a too-Zen approach to life. Given the fact that I've never had to really work at anything, I've never really worked to achieve anything. Things will happen when they're supposed to. I'm at a point that I just cannot let that be good enough anymore. Get over it and make it happen! But, what is it that I want to make happen? Suggestions are welcome... This past summer was pretty much an embarrassment for me. Yes, it was a rainy, crappy summer - but not every single day was crap. I work at a job that is running towards the end of it's lifespan - at least on my end. So, no matter how beautiful it is when I come home, there is only so much I can do, I'm mentally exhausted and pretty tired to boot. I do get a little bitter and resentful given the fact that my dear husband has been out of work for over a year now (including an entire summer), and that our home and our life is not where I had hoped it would be by now. My dream of being garlic farmers has been dashed (smashed?) I was hoping to have 500 cloves in the ground - we have maybe 30... I'm frustrated that I cannot live the life I want to live. Hey, I guess that's my fault - I need to live the life I want - just do it. Just do it - that's a nice way of saying "shit or get off the pot!" Does it sound like it's time for a self help book, some sort of inspirational, motivational story? Let me explore what's on my bookshelf...

Here's what I found:

• The Celestine Prophecy - great book, many things to take to heart. A gift from a nice couple from Florida traveling 'cross country. I met them in the shoe repair emporium I was working in at the time. But, everything happens for a reason...
• Bus 9 To Paradise - haven't read it in many many years. It was given to me as a gift for my 17th birthday by Tammy Sepe. I miss her. I don't even remember what the book is about. On the cover it states, Inspiring #1 Bestseller. join the beloved author on a mythical "bus" for a journey that proves earthly paradise can be yours in the here and now...
• Silent Spring - not a self-help book, but an absolute must read! Kinda puts life into perspective.
• The Dalai Lama, A Policy of Kindness - again, not really a self-help book, but who wouldn't want to read this book?! What a beautiful man!!

Oh yeah, there's lots more that I could bitch / write about. But, I think I'm pretty spent for the night. Tune in next time for the adventures of "The Muds of Spring, How Can a Child Get THAT Muddy THAT Quickly?!"

Are White Crayons Evil? -or- I Love So Much In This World

Where do I begin...

Our child is an interesting little critter, that's for sure. For the past four years she has wanted nothing to do with crayons. I'll pause here and make it known to those that may not be in "the know" about crayons - THERE IS ONLY ONE CRAYON - AND CRAYOLA BE THY NAME. I may be a little passionate about this subject... Ok, so absolutely no interest in crayons for the last four years, barely any interest in the huge crayon carousel at the Crayola Factory, even. But, now we're a bit obsessed with them! Emma is a peeler and a breaker. She likes to use the tiny little pieces, so she will methodically peel the crayon and then kneel on it to snap it into pieces. We explained to her that was kinda like what Oma did to her hand! The rumor is that - Mom broke her hand falling off the mechanical bull. Teeheehee.

So here we have dozens upon dozens of tiny little crayon pieces and a bright pink garbage can full of crayon wrappers. And then I stumble upon a handful of unused, "fully clothed" white crayons... and then another and then another. Hmmm. The child has a thing with white crayons. Of course she has colored paper - I totally get that she doesn't want to use a white crayon on the white paper. She has green paper, but she's not abandoning the green crayons? Silly girl!

While snuggling with me on the couch Emma started singing about dragonflies and unicorns. (next she'll be singing about butterflies and moonbeams - she already talks about zebras and fairy tales... ) "there's so much in this world that I love - yeah, yeah" The kid is a sing-songer. Life is a song for her. She inspires me.

One Hell of a Hockey Game!

* We did not win. I'm sure that by the time you read this blog, you'll already have heard that our men's hockey team did not win the gold medal. Wow, what a game. Scott and I are not usually into sports events, but we both really like a good kick-ass hockey game! * Scatt has not been inside for the last couple of days - we'd feel more comfortable once he sees the vet. The health of our other furbabies is too important to us. * Emma's closet and drawers have been cleaned out and I feel good about it. * The toilet is clean. There you go, again with relatively low standards... I've very recently come to realize that pushing myself on weekdays is more productive and rewarding to me than trying to get too much done on the weekends. The weekends are really my time to just step back and putter. I love to putter. I don't see huge results, but I feel like I've been somewhat productive - while being able to somewhat relax at the same time. I feel like I've been less stressed out going in this direction. My weekends are for my family and for me - not for everyday chores. I figure that the weekday, being the work day is pretty much shot anyways - so why not suck as much out of each day as you can?!

A Good Day with a Few Exceptions

Wow! Big snow! Scott is finally back in from trying to clear us and our neighbor out.

Unfortunately, what started as a really good day went down the giant slalom (sorry for the Olympics reference) pretty quickly. There is a misunderstanding with our beloved neighbor who right now thinks that Scott is not a team player... After Scott cleared our neighbor's pathway (having walked through 3 feet of unplowed snow all the way up her uphill driveway), he brought the snow blower down here to clear our driveway. He was done with our driveway and on his last pass for our walkway when our other neighbor asked if he would take a few passes on our beloved neighbor's driveway before he plowed it. Scott said he was going to finish up what he was doing and be right up. Well, this neighbor doesn't like to wait - he doesn't like to wait at all. It takes awhile to walk up the driveway on a good day - let alone while pushing a snow blower uphill through snow that is a two feet too deep for the snow blower... Apparently, the snowplowing neighbor voiced his dismay at having to wait for Scott. Our beloved neighbor must not have understood the time frame and now I think is a bit irritated with Scott. Scott, by the way has been out in the snow since this morning and can now barely move. I do not like conflict. I don't like conflict with family (damn it for your crap, Penny and Mom!) Maybe more on that later... I don't like conflict with friends (Laura - Scott worked his ass off and Victor likes to bitch!) End of story! Oh, yeah - and Bailey threw up all his breakfast, Scatt dumped his food - not once, but twice! And Emma destroyed our snow castle before we could food color it. Besides, I was supposed to be the ogre to destroy the castle!! But, the saving grace for the day is: #1 We're all chilled and going to dinner at our neighbor's house for chili - and they're from Florida so it will be pretty warm in their house. #2 At the end of the second period of men's hockey USA is over Finland 6-0!!

That's all I've got in me for now. I'll probably be back after dinner.

And one last thing - I'm almost out of lime and while I was writing this, the cat took a big 'ol liquid poo on the comforter that Scott was covered up with... Well, crap!

I Love This Book!

Today made me think of one of my all time favorite books - Arm In Arm by Remy Charlip. On the left hand page is a beautiful snowy scene with half a dozen technicolor kids playing.

Isn't it better to be out in the cold snow saying, "isn't it better to be out in the cold snow rather thank in a warm bed?" Rather than in a warm bed saying "isn't it better to be out in the cold snow rather than in a warm bed?"

And on the right is a serene scene of a super king size bed with half a dozen technicolor kids snoozing under a super big technicolor "log cabin" quilt.

Isn't it better to be in a warm bed saying, "isn't it better to be in a warm bed rather than out in the cold snow?" Rather than out in the cold snow saying "isn't it better to be in a warm bed rather than out in the cold snow?"

I searched for years, literally years, for this book. I don't know how many times I checked it out of the library in elementary school. As I reread it now, it seems pretty trippy. I'm kinda wishing I had it while in college. But, then again, that may have taken away some of the simple, innocent charm of this book. I love this book. I can only hope that Emma will enjoy it just as much as I did!

I came home early today and have no plans of venturing out tomorrow. We got a nice big snow. The kind of snow that Scott and I remember as kids. It's the nice heavy packing snow that you can do so much with. We may try to build a snowman or even a tunnel tomorrow. Scott scrapped all the snow off of our roof - he had to climb onto the porch roof to get at it all. We briefly lost power at that time. DCEC (Delaware County Electric Cooperative) had to shut down their substation due to arching... yikes!

Emma, the Snow Queen was covered head to toe with snow when she finally came in from eating snow chunks. "But it just tastes so good!" After a very cool but relaxing bath, Emma was wrapped in a towel and a blanket and sipped on some hot chocolate. Extra marshmallow, thank you. I even warmed up her big fleece nightgown in the dryer -"just like Papa does!!"

Scatt has been in for another nice visit. I hear Scott telling Emma (as she was trying to bring the cat into our bedroom) that Scatt is an outdoor and living room cat, maybe your room this summer... Hmmm. Scott may be warming to Scatt...

Dinner is ready. Pan fried tilapia with sweet potato fries and peas. I'm done writing for the night - I do have my priorities!

Headache Day, Getting Older and A Very Tolerant Cat

What the hell? I'm 37 years old. My complexion is worse than it has ever been and gets even worse during that "special time of the month." I've also started getting really really bad headaches at the same time. What is this whole getting older thing all about? How can I be aging like this when I don't even feel like a grown up?! Oh, and the bleeping lines around my eyes - well, I'm not even going there! So I did take the day off today. I had a headache all day yesterday and tossed and turned all night with one. This morning I said "forget it," and called into work. I probably would have gotten more rest and peace and quiet if I had gone in though!

Scatt came in for a nice long visit today. Between the dogs and Emma, I think the poor cat was glad to get back outside. While he was in he got to cuddle with us on the couch. I sat him on the back of the couch so he could have a bit of an advantage over the dogs - or so I thought... Bailey's big 'ol snoz nudged him back just enough that he fell. Emma, bless her little heart, tried to catch him. She had as light of a grip around his neck as she could without letting him fall. I reminded her that our couch really isn't that tall and that he would probably have been better off if he had been allowed to fall. Silly Scatt was purring pretty much the whole time! After the near-fall, Emma decided to read him a bedtime story. I'm pretty sure this poor cat is going to get dressed up sometime in his near future. So, Emma went in to find the "just perfect" book and a "blanket" (one of my bandannas) for the cat. She plopped him onto her lap, covered him up and proceeded to read him a lovely little story from her "Book of Aquarius." She's so sweet and loving. During the whole visit, the poor kitty was being rooted and mauled by the dogs and the child. The child, though, thought she was doing her best to protect the "sweetest little kitty she's ever met!" All the while saying soothing things to the cat and reproaching the dogs with each nibble and snout toss. I think we'll all be just fine.

trying to register the Wii and other miscellaneous thoughts

It has been a very busy couple of days. Today my main goal is to clean the toilet and register our Wii. My standards are pretty low today. I made Scatt a new kitty nest and prepared several days worth of meals for Bailey Black Dog. Scott is in the kitchen baking. Emma is hibernating in her room watching (and re-watching) Gummi Bears and Jazzy is on the couch hoping that I'm not going to clean her ears today. We had the opportunity to spend some good time with family. Unfortunate circumstances, but a pleasant time nonetheless. Emma the Earth Warrior has a nice new black eye. She's my "black-eyed sweet pea!" She was kneeling on top of a bin of dress up clothes at Aunt Jennifer's trying to reach a lamp to turn it off. The lid tipped inward and the kid fell. She immediately had a very pretty shade of violet mark under her right eye. It must have been pretty bad because she actually allowed us to put ice on it! She's such a little tough girl. She was pretty excited to tell Oma about her black eye the next day.